Single parenting can be one of the most difficult events of your life. Especially with teenagers who only want to rebel and not listen to what you have to say.
Especially during the phase of adolescence, it can be incredibly difficult for you to learn how to deal with your teens in a proper manner. At the same time, it’s important for you to teach your children how to behave at home before they launch into the phase of adulthood.
So how exactly do you help your teenagers thrive during the challenge of single parenting?
Let’s find out.
Understand The Challenges Your Teenagers Are Facing
The first step in helping your teenagers thrive in a difficult environment is to understand the challenges they are facing.
Remember when you were a teenager back many years ago. Focus on how you felt during your teenage years. You might have felt anxious, moody, and restless a majority of the time.
And that can be the same with your kids. They might feel even moodier, especially with the game changing technologies of TikTok and Instagram.
As stated from the National Center for Health Research, 32% of 12-17 year olds report anxiety, and 13% report depression when spending more than three hours on social media each day. In addition, these behaviors promote inadequate sleep, a lack of exercise, and much more exposure to cyberbullying, as compared to not using the technology.
Social media can also have a negative impact on the most important piece of the puzzle, which is spending family time on vacation, or even in a simple place such as the dinner table.
Have Open and Strong Communication
The next step into helping your teenager thrive is to have open communication.
Although most teens may be hesitant to open up about difficult events that may be happening at any given point in time, it’s important to be a resource when these events may occur.
Maybe your son got dumped at the high school prom. Or maybe your daughter got wine spilled on her prom dress, and the rest of her night may be ruined.
When these issues arise, it’s important to not be judgemental, but rather a resource that your teenager can fall upon, especially as a single parent. While acting as a resource, you also need to be sure that your children can trust you at the same time, especially with sensitive information.
Some ways to help your teens trust you better include:
- Asking Open-Ended Questions
- Giving Specific Words of Encouragement
- Showing Your Teen That You Make Mistakes Too!
- Being Honest As a Single-Mother
- Letting Your Teen Make Their Own Decisions And Be Independent
By following these steps, you can show your kids to be their best self, while also promoting a sense of independence concurrently.
Set Clear Rules and Boundaries
Please set boundaries and rules in the household with your teenagers.
Make sure that there are household rules that your teen can follow. These can be simple, or maybe even more difficult depending on your home situation.
As a single parent, it might be easy for your child to compare one spouse’s home to the other, but it’s still important to set your own rules in the process.
When I was a teenager, my parents created multiple rules in the household, some of which included:
- No video games on weeknights and R-Rated Movies
- Was Your Car and Chores Every Weekend
- Not Being out Past 10pm on Weeknights
- Only A’s and B’s in School
Although these rules seemed daunting at first, it provided me with an incredible foundation for my life that I still apply today. I’ve even found that I don’t play many video games during the week since my life has gotten so busy now.
Encourage Independence For Your Teens
Although it’s so difficult at first, your teenagers want independence. They want to be away from the household, with their friends, and doing activities other than staying home.
And I bet that you craved that same independence as a teen as well. As you start to grant your teenager freedom, it’s so critical for them to remember the potential consequences of their actions as they get older.
As a child, the consequences for misbehavior are not as high as compared to a teenager. If you end up spilling something in the kitchen, there are usually no consequences associated with that action.
However, if your teen ends up driving under the influence of alcohol and gets arrested, that could be a cause of concern. You now have thousands of dollars to pay for DUI lawyers, and now your child’s future is in jeopardy.
So just remember, your teen lives with the consequences of their actions.
Address Challenges and Seek Professional Help If Necessary
Just as parenting teens as a single parent is hard, you need help on your side. Be sure to enlist the assistance of people in your network, such as community groups, Facebook groups, or even something as simple as counseling.
More importantly, if you are ever in a place where your former spouse wants full custody of your children, and he has been in a place in the past where he or she is unfit to parent, it might be worth it to enlist the help of a San Diego child custody attorney from Boyd Law.
A lawyer who specializes in child custody laws in San Diego can help you with your rights being protected, and also fighting for your children at the same time. Although it might seem daunting at first to hire a lawyer, the benefits of making this decision will far outweigh the consequences.
Help Your Teens Thrive Today
To give a short recap on how to help your teens as a single parent, you need to:
- Understand the challenges they are going through
- Have open communication at all times
- Set clear rules and boundaries
- Encourage your children to be independent
- Address the challenges of raising teens and seek help
Remember that parenting your teenagers is a journey, not a sprint.
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