RESPECT is a word that needs to come back into this generation of teenagers.

It’s evident we live in a society of entitlement.

As a child approaches adolescence, the natural exploration of boundaries and the need to assert his own independence often leaves his parents feeling as if all respect between them has dissipated. Arguing, defiance and even foul language are normal, though admittedly incredibly frustrating, aspects of parenting a teenager.

Do you find yourself trying to having a conversation with your teen and realize they are so engrossed with their device, they don’t even hear you? Welcome to this new generation of Gen Z — it’s where disrespectful behavior can start.

While regaining a teen’s respect may seem like an impossible proposition, there are ways that you can restore some semblance of balance and civility to your relationship as he gets older. While patience and a refusal to reward bad behavior are the keys to maintaining a measure of order in your home as the parent of teenagers, there are some methods that can supplement your efforts along the way.

Show Respect

In order to maintain your teenager’s respect, you’ll need to make sure that you show the same measure of respect in return. If you resort to shouting, threats and anger to get your point across, your teen isn’t likely to have much respect for your pleas for civility. Demanding that your adolescent child blindly follows your directions and falls in line with your rules while refusing to show any sort of respect for their own valid feelings and needs is far more likely to backfire than to inspire
rank-and-file obedience.

Set Reasonable Boundaries

Just as younger children need to know what the boundaries of acceptable behavior are in order to stay within them, so will your teen. The difference between them is that your teenager will need a bit of independence to make his own choices. Allowing him a reasonable amount of space to explore the world as he matures will allow your teen to make mistakes that will serve as learning experiences, and not feel as if he’s being stifled by the demands of adults that he views as out of touch with the world.

While you certainly don’t want to encourage dangerous experimentation or condone bad decisions that will affect the rest of his life, it is wise to give him ample space to make a few minor mistakes he can learn from.

Maintain an Open Line of Communication

When a teen feels as if you’re completely out of touch and aren’t willing to listen to him, he’s not likely to approach you with his concerns or seek advice from you about difficult situations he faces.

Making sure that you establish and maintain an open line of judgment-free communication reinforces the idea that he can still come to you when he’s in trouble, and that you will respect his growing maturity. In return, your teen is more likely to extend the same respect to you.

Try Not to Feel Hurt or Rejected

It’s normal to feel as if you’re being rejected by your teenager when he seems to constantly choose his friends and peers over you, but it’s important to remember that it’s a natural part of growing up. Feeling that pain is understandable and acceptable, but it’s not a good idea to act on your hurt feelings by lashing out or establishing excessively restrictive rules that force him to spend his free time with you. Forced time is not quality time, and will almost certainly end in a showdown.

Realize That “Do as I Say, Not as I Do” is Counter-Productive

The desire to ensure that your child doesn’t make the same mistakes you have or exhibit the same problem personality traits can create an environment in which you expect your child to follow your instructions while you openly flout them. The “do as I say, not as I do” approach isn’t effective when children are young, but it can truly come back to haunt you when a teenager accuses you of hypocrisy and unfairness. Try to model the behavior you want your teen to exhibit to the best of your abilities to avoid these altercations and encourage him to respect you.

Give Them Responsibilities

Kids who have no responsibilities and a sense of entitlement that leads them to feel as if the world owes them everything have no respect for anyone or anything. Making sure that your children have some responsibilities, both financial and in the way of chores or daily tasks, may not seem like a recipe for respect on the surface, however the qualities that having some responsibility instills naturally extend themselves to having a bit more respect than their overindulged peers.

Recognize the Things They Do

While you’re delegating responsibility and setting reasonable boundaries, make sure that you take the time to acknowledge and openly appreciate the things that your teenager does. Feeling as if his efforts to abide by the rules and contribute to the household are completely unnoticed or unappreciated doesn’t inspire your teen to keep meeting expectations that he knows you won’t acknowledge anyway. Take a moment to thank your teen for helping out or behaving well, and let him know that the freedom he is afforded is directly tied to the fact that his good behavior at home indicates to you that he can be trusted.

Also read:

3 Reasons For Therapeutic Boarding Schools

Common Causes for Teenage Mental Health Issues

Why Residential Therapy Works

The post How to Handle My Disrespectful Teenager first appeared on Help Your Teens.

As a parent, you have to pick which battles to fight with your teenager and when they occur. While your teen may be rude in front of company or in public, you don’t need to discipline him right then and there. If you do, it will only add to the frustration you and your teen are feeling.

Have you tried talking to your teen about this behavior, asking him if there is a reason why he/she is acting out in this way? Be understanding of his concerns, but let him know it does not excuse their rude behavior.

Explain to your teen that there are consequences for rude behavior. Tell him what the consequences are and follow through.

Has it escalated to a point where you and your family feel like you are walking on eggshells in your own home? Fearful of what will trigger your rude teen to the next level of anger or rage?

Getting your teenager help is a priority. Talking with your school counselor and seeking an adolescent therapist is typically the first path to finding help.

If your teenager shuts this down, you may want to find other types of local resources. Possibly art therapy, animal therapy, or even gardening or music therapy.

When Local Options Fail

When your rude teenager has reached a point of rage and explosive behavior and local resources are not helping, it might be time to learn more about how residential therapy can assist your family.

Making the decision to choose a therapeutic boarding school for your problem teen is a major emotional and financial decision.

One big question parents want to know is, what is the goal of residential treatment and why is it any different than getting help at home?

When you place your teenager into a therapeutic boarding school or residential treatment center, these environments provide intense help for students with emotional and behavioral problems. When they are struggling with emotional issues, it also impacts their schooling.

Is your teenager:

-Is your teen vaping, experimenting with substances? (Self-medicating)
-Do they seem withdrawn or sad (depressed)?
–Addicted to their cell-phone, video gaming?
-Are they self-harming, suicide ideation?
-Smart, but failing in school?
-Skipping classes, school refusal?
-Suspended or facing expulsion?
-Changed friends, negative peer group?
–Loss of interest in activities or hobbies?
-Explosive, destructive?
–Stealing, legal issues?
-Angry, rage, violent?
-Struggling with ADHD, RAD, Bipolar?

If you’re experiencing several of these characteristics and your teen is refusing to get help, it’s likely you’re home has become extremely hostile.

Once you locate a quality residential treatment program, your teenager will temporarily live outside of their home and in a facility (therapeutic boarding school) where they can be supervised and monitored by trained staff.

5 Goals of Residential Treatment or Therapeutic Boarding Schools for Teenagers

1. Evaluation.  Your teen (once removed from their home environment and peer influences) will likely have a comprehensive evaluation to assess emotional, behavioral, medical, and social needs, and support these needs accordingly and safely.

2. Treatment plan. Determining the right residential treatment program for your teen includes finding one that can meet his/her individual needs. Residential programs will design an individualized treatment plan that puts into place interventions that help your teen attain their goals.

3. Therapy. When your child was at home, it is likely he/she either refused to attend counseling, maybe manipulated the therapist, or possibly simply didn’t engage with them. While in residential treatment, your child will be attending both individual and group therapy to help them through their healing process.

Now that your teen is in a therapeutic setting, it is more difficult for them to keep up their walls. These therapists are trained to work with youth that are difficult to breakthrough.

4. Family involvement “peacefully”. Well-rounded residential programs encourage and provide opportunities for family therapy and contact through on-site visits, home passes (when the time comes), telephone calls and other modes of communication. Trained staff is always available to help navigate issues of concern for both the parents and when/if the teenager gets upset from meetings or letters.

Most residential treatment programs and therapeutic boarding schools also offer parenting and family workshops. These can be extremely beneficial in making the transition back home.

5. Builds self-worth. Residential treatment programs not only offer clinical teams to help your teen emotionally, most provide additional behavioral therapy through enrichment programs. These are designed to help your teen develop coping skills as well as building self-esteem to make better choices in life.

Examples of enrichment programs that residential treatment programs and therapeutic boarding schools offer:

–Art Therapy
–Animal Assisted Therapy
-Sports Therapy
–Horticultural (Gardening) Therapy
–Music Therapy

Also read:

5 Benefits of Boarding Schools for Troubled Teens.

 Are Therapeutic Boarding Schools Effective?

Where to Send My Troubled Teen.

The post How to Help My Rude Teenager first appeared on Help Your Teens.

The teen attitude can be extremely challenging, frustrating and completely maddening to parents. Teens can be verbally impulsive, however that doesn’t mean they should get a free pass to talk back and behave disrespectfully.  It can be infuriating when your teenager yells at you, “I don’t have to listen to you,” or “You’re so mean,” or even more distasteful language to express their displeasure and anger.

Does this sound familiar:

-Does your teen backtalk you?
-Are they rude to you?
Do they swear at you?
-Roll their eyes at you?
-Do they interrupt you?
-Do they slam doors, especially if you’re talking to them?

5 Ways to Deal with Teenage Disrespect

No matter what type of things your teen says, the way you respond to disrespect is important, because the type of discipline you use influences how likely it is for the behavior to continue.  Try these responses when your teen behaves disrespectfully:

1. Remain Calm

Since we (the parent) can be ready to explode when our teen is expressing themselves disrespectfully, this can probably be the hardest thing to do – but very necessary. Engaging with your teen by yelling at them can only escalate the situation. Take a breathe, literally walk away or develop a mantra to repeat over and over in your head until you can calm down. It’s important for you to do whatever it takes to prevent your temper from flaring.

2. Attempt to Ignore Nasty Behavior

Teens will act-out negatively with the belief it will break a parent down to get what they want. They believe the longer they can get you to engage in an argument, it will finally break you down to have things their way.

If you take the bait and engage in an argument, you may soon find yourself caving into their wants out of frustration and exhaustion. So sometimes, ignoring a behavior, whether it’s an eye-roll or mumbling under the breath, may be the best course of action.

When you don’t make eye contact, argue back, or pay attention to the behavior, it will likely stop. And you can get back on track toward ensuring your teen follows through with your directions.

3. One Warning

Offer one warning if your teen refuses to follow through with directions you gave them or is badgering you about something you have told them “no” to over and over again.

Don’t repeat the warning over and over again. Instead, give a single warning and follow through with the consequence if they don’t change their behavior.

4. Stand Firm

It’s important that parents not give in, and stand firm when your teen behaves disrespectfully. Teenagers actually believe acting with this nasty and rude attitude will change their parents minds – hoping it will break them down to get what they want.

Don’t allow your teen to guilt you into changing your mind once you’ve said no. Even if your teen says you’re the worst parent in the world, or tries to convince you that you’re ruining their life, stick to your rules.

5. Follow-through

This is so crucial in all areas of parenting, following through with your consequences. If your teen breaks house rules by outright calling you a name or destructive behavior and doesn’t change once you have giving them a warning, follow through with a consequence. Whether it’s removing privileges or giving them additional chores at home.

In conclusion, one of the best ways to decrease disrespectful teen behavior it so develop a meaningful and mutually respectful relationship. Family conflict can be common, however if you realize you’re nagging often or approaching them with the expectation of arguments — the disrespectful behavior will continue. It’s time to focus on enjoying your teen and learning about bettering your communication skills. It will make a difference.

Read: 5 Benefits of Boarding Schools.

Read: Why Therapeutic Boarding Schools Are Effective.

###

If you are struggling with your disrespectful teenager that’s causing family conflict and you have exhausted your local resources, learn more about how residential treatment can help your troubled teen. Contact us today for  a free consultation.

The post How to Deal With A Disrespectful Teenager first appeared on Help Your Teens.

The teen attitude can be extremely challenging, frustrating and completely maddening to parents. Teens can be verbally impulsive, however that doesn’t mean they should get a free pass to talk back and behave disrespectfully.  It can be infuriating when your teenager yells at you, “I don’t have to listen to you,” or “You’re so mean,” or even more distasteful language to express their displeasure and anger.

Does this sound familiar:

-Does your teen backtalk you?
-Are they rude to you?
Do they swear at you?
-Roll their eyes at you?
-Do they interrupt you?
-Do they slam doors, especially if you’re talking to them?

5 Ways to Deal with Teenage Disrespect

No matter what type of things your teen says, the way you respond to disrespect is important, because the type of discipline you use influences how likely it is for the behavior to continue.  Try these responses when your teen behaves disrespectfully:

1. Remain Calm

Since we (the parent) can be ready to explode when our teen is expressing themselves disrespectfully, this can probably be the hardest thing to do – but very necessary. Engaging with your teen by yelling at them can only escalate the situation. Take a breathe, literally walk away or develop a mantra to repeat over and over in your head until you can calm down. It’s important for you to do whatever it takes to prevent your temper from flaring.

2. Attempt to Ignore Nasty Behavior

Teens will act-out negatively with the belief it will break a parent down to get what they want. They believe the longer they can get you to engage in an argument, it will finally break you down to have things their way.

If you take the bait and engage in an argument, you may soon find yourself caving into their wants out of frustration and exhaustion. So sometimes, ignoring a behavior, whether it’s an eye-roll or mumbling under the breath, may be the best course of action.

When you don’t make eye contact, argue back, or pay attention to the behavior, it will likely stop. And you can get back on track toward ensuring your teen follows through with your directions.

3. One Warning

Offer one warning if your teen refuses to follow through with directions you gave them or is badgering you about something you have told them “no” to over and over again.

Don’t repeat the warning over and over again. Instead, give a single warning and follow through with the consequence if they don’t change their behavior.

4. Stand Firm

It’s important that parents not give in, and stand firm when your teen behaves disrespectfully. Teenagers actually believe acting with this nasty and rude attitude will change their parents minds – hoping it will break them down to get what they want.

Don’t allow your teen to guilt you into changing your mind once you’ve said no. Even if your teen says you’re the worst parent in the world, or tries to convince you that you’re ruining their life, stick to your rules.

5. Follow-through

This is so crucial in all areas of parenting, following through with your consequences. If your teen breaks house rules by outright calling you a name or destructive behavior and doesn’t change once you have giving them a warning, follow through with a consequence. Whether it’s removing privileges or giving them additional chores at home.

In conclusion, one of the best ways to decrease disrespectful teen behavior it so develop a meaningful and mutually respectful relationship. Family conflict can be common, however if you realize you’re nagging often or approaching them with the expectation of arguments — the disrespectful behavior will continue. It’s time to focus on enjoying your teen and learning about bettering your communication skills. It will make a difference.

Read: 5 Benefits of Boarding Schools.

Read: Why Therapeutic Boarding Schools Are Effective.

###

If you are struggling with your disrespectful teenager that’s causing family conflict and you have exhausted your local resources, learn more about how residential treatment can help your troubled teen. Contact us today for  a free consultation.

The post How to Help My Disrespectful Teen first appeared on Help Your Teens.