Is your teen’s explosive behavior destroying your family? Maybe you removed their smartphone, possibly shut-down the gaming devices — or told them they could not attend a party and suddenly your home becomes a warzone.

Parents today feel like they are walking on eggshells when they are dealing with an out-of-control teenager that can become explosive when they don’t get their own way or feel mistreated.

Sometimes explosive behavior serves a different purpose: intimidation. A teen may learn that by breaking things, punching holes in the wall, and behaving violently, they can frighten a parent into doing what they want.

After-all, they know mom or dad are likely exhausted and will eventually concede since they do not feel like fighting.

Breaking the Cycle of an Explosive Teen

If your teen has been showing escalating negative behavior, you may suspect that he will become aggressive in the future. There are some things that you can do to help your teen choose alternatives to aggression.

There are several things that can increase the likelihood that adolescents will be aggressive. Although these things don’t ensure aggression, they can make it more probable that adolescents will choose aggressive responses to frustration. Understanding the risk factors for violence can give you a place to start thinking about making changes.

According to the surgeon general’s report on youth violence, these factors include:

• Aggression between parents (in two-parent homes)
• Single parent households
• Parent having been a victim of abuse as a child
• Very overprotective parents
• Parents who are “best friends” with their child
• Drug and/or alcohol use in the child
• Culture where it is believed that men are supposed to control the family
• Teens who do not take responsibility for their behavior
• Parents who do not hold teens responsible for their own behavior

Understand that teens who do not know how to solve problems seek control by acting out, being physically or verbally abusive, being destructive/explosive, or abusing substances. They do not know how to make friends or communicate to meet their needs. So, they turn to other ways to get their needs met—they turn to drugs and alcohol and inappropriate behavior.

How to curb and cope with destructive outbursts

Especially in today’s age of technology and entitlement, helping your teen manage their emotions can be challenging. Parenting an explosive teen, it is important to help them develop coping skills to manage their own emotions, especially when they feel themselves beginning to rage.

Here are some ways to help you manage your own emotions while helping your teen learn to manage theirs.

1. Don’t be a parent in denial.

Many parents will make excuses for their teen’s behavior, since it is difficult to accept their once good teen is acting out so irrationally. Whether you want to blame it on a negative peer group, maybe too much screen-time or possibly substance use – the fact is your teen is choosing this explosive behavior.

2. Stay calm.

Likely easier said than done, especially as your teen is going into a rage and becoming explosive as they destroy property in the house, such as punching walls or breaking doors. As difficult as it can be, it is imperative you remain calm — confronting your teen with more anger will only escalate the situation.  If you lower your voice and speak more slowly, your teen may do the same because emotions are contagious.

3. Positive and encouraging outlets.

If your teen is quick to anger when they are not getting their own way or for other reasons that is leading to destruction, finding them positive outlets can help them develop coping skills and mechanisms to deal with stress management.  These can include working with animals, volunteering, gardening, art and music and even boxing. Also, if your teen is old enough, having a job is a great way to help them learn patience, responsibility, and empathy.

4. Seeking outside help.

Dealing with a destructive teenager is overwhelming and extremely challenging. It can not only destroy your home (literally) — but it can also ruin your family life in general. In many situations your teen will refuse to see a therapist or even the school counselor.  Some parents have had to have their teen admitted to a local hospital when they have become extremely out-of-control that a parent has feared for either their life or the life of their teen.

Also read:

Purpose of a Therapeutic Boarding School

5 Benefits of Therapeutic Boarding Schools

The post How to Deal With Explosive Teen Behavior first appeared on Help Your Teens.

Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a mental health disorder in which kids have short periods of intense, unexpected anger and explosive behavior. These feelings seem to come out of nowhere. They feel they have no control over their anger.  IED usually shows up in late childhood or the early teen years. 

Intermittent Explosive Disorder affects 1 out of every 12 teenagers, according to the Depression Alliance. IED — and its outbursts of sudden rage, anger, and frustration — can negatively impact family life, social relationships, and academic performance. Symptoms typically appear in late childhood or adolescence.

Anxiety, depression and substance abuse are more common in people diagnosed with IED. Teens with IED are also at a higher risk of harming themselves and attempting suicide.

Treating Explosive Disorder

Handling Teen Anger Outbursts 

Not every teen that has had an explosive outburst has IED. When your teen explodes, it is really hard for them and also for you. But there are things you can do to help your teen deal with their anger.

The challenge in helping explosive teens is keeping them safe while they learn ways to recognize anger and deal with it more constructively.

Learning what triggers your teen’s anger is an important step in helping them manage their own behavior. Every teen is different and will have different triggers. By observing your teen, you may be able to identify what triggers your child.  As many parents know, if a teen thinks they will have their devices removed, many will go into a rage. This is why it’s important to have a smartphone contract in place so they understand the consequences of their actions when they break the rules.

Ways to safely express their anger:

Participate in physical activities. The impulse to do something physical when feeling angry is strong in most teens. Involvement in sports and other exercise helps in expressing anger on a regular basis.

Hit a punching bag. Teens need safe ways to get their anger out, a punching bag works well, so does hitting a pillow repeatedly, or using a foam padded bat.

Take a time-out or time-in. When anger escalates teens may need time alone to calm down and yell, cry or whatever is needed so they stay safe and others are not negatively impacted.

Get into music. Popular with most teens, music works well to help teens identify and express feelings of anger, whether through singing, dancing or playing along with songs filled with rage.

Identify triggers to anger. The better your teen can make the connection between what leads to angry outbursts, the more control they’ll have in expressing this emotion.

Creatively express angry feelings. Both writing and drawing can be used effectively by teens to express and understand anger.

Also read:

Why Therapeutic Boarding Schools Are Effective.

 5 Benefits of Boarding Schools.

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Sources: ChildMind.org, Cleveland Clinic, VeryWell Mind
Images: Pexels

The post How to Deal With An Explosive Teen first appeared on Help Your Teens.