Of particular concern, the researchers say, is that about 12 percent of sexts were forwarded without consent, which they called “troubling.” When sexting is coerced, or when sexts are shared without consent, it can lead to harassment by friends, cyberbullying or blackmailing.

All of the above is very worrisome for parents — as we are witnessing the rise of sextortion. Revenge porn and sextortion is no joke. What may have started out as sending flirtatious messages, could end in malicious e-venge. With sextortion, you may not even know the person. To date, 46 states plus D.C. have revenge porn laws.

Teen sexting

When young people sext, they often lose control of the situation quickly. Messages can easily be intercepted or forwarded to unintended recipients, which is a nasty form of cyberbullying.

The consequences of sexting also extend offline. When something that was intended to be a private communication ends up in public, the shame and humiliation can drive our kids to the point of self-destruction. Sadly we have read too many stories of death by suicide of teens when sexting has gone wrong.

Another consequence of sexting: Experts have found children and teens that sext are more likely to engage in real-world sexual activity  than students who don’t sext.

The Sext Talk

For years, many parents have cringed at the thought of having the birds and the bees conversation. Now, we have to open the door for the sext talk with our kids at an even younger age.

Jessica Logan, Hope Witsell, Audrie Pott and Amanda Todd are all names that have become linked with the aftermath of sexting and cyberbullying, which go hand-in-hand. These young teens died by suicide — as the result of being pressured to send inappropriate images.

As a study in Pediatrics reveals, we have to realize that we’re dealing with even younger emotional lives that are craving the attention to fit-in and be accepted.

It’s a parent’s responsibility to empower their teen with the knowledge to make good choices about how to use all forms of technology and social media.

Sext education:

1. Talk about it. Frequently and start early! Use age appropriate language, however stress the importance of safe sharing online. When your kids hear news of sext crime cases, initiate a conversation. Talk about how sexting leads to negative consequences even for adults. This makes sextortion and the consequences of sexting real. 

Slut shaming, blackmail, sextortion, emotional health (harassment), physical health (stalking), overall-safety and mental wellness.

Emily Lindin, author of UnSlut: A Diary and a Memoir, has a strong message that always strikes a chord when she talks with teen girls about slut shaming: she points out that online porn is readily available, so these boys already have all the masturbatory material they could ever desire—what they are really after is power to lord over you, control you, even blackmail you. She asks young women pointedly, “Do you really want to give them that power?” (Except from Shame Nation book)

2. Make it real. Teens don’t always realize that what they do online is real-life. Ask them to consider how they would feel if their teacher or grandparent saw a provocative comment or picture. Remind them there’s no rewind online and no true delete button in the digital world. Comments and photos are not retrievable. In many instances that 15 minutes of gratification can lead to a lifetime of regret and humiliation.

3. Address peer pressure. Give your kids a way out – blame it on us. Tell them to let their friends know that their parents monitor (and/or spot check) their phones and social media platforms, and you can’t risk losing your devices. Teens today are being pressured to send nudes or forms of inappropriate images. In Shame Nation book, a teen that was interviewed during the Duxbury High School sexting scandal, was tired of authorities blaming the girls and shared:

“Girls don’t need to be told to ‘think better of themselves,’” she responds. “Boys need to stop being immature and sick creatures, grow up, and not post girls all over a site for everyone to see. Why are they not telling the boys to stop hounding the girls for naked pictures?” – Ginny, Shame Nation book

4. Discuss legal and online consequences. Depending on your state, there can be legal ramifications when you send sexual content or even participate in forwarding it. What goes online – stays online. This is your digital landscape. Whether it’s your college admissions or a job application, your first impression today is your internet search and social media profile.

5. If you receive a sexual message, never engage in it or forward it. Tell your parent or trusted adult immediately. If necessary, contact the authorities or your school.

6. Know that your parent is only a call away. Let your child know they can always come to you without judgment. These conversations are about building trust — our kids may always be an “app” ahead of us, but we will always be the adult in the family – lead by example and be there for them.

If your teen has been engaging in sexting or sending inappropriate images (sexual or otherwise), this can lead to a high level of distress for a young person — especially if those pictures have gone viral or landed in the wrong hands. Some teens resort to unhealthy ways to cope – such as self-harming, isolating themselves and restricting their dietary intake. It can also lead to high levels of anxiety and symptoms of depression.

Young people are often worried about the consequences of their actions and fear telling their parents or even a trusted adult. This is why the sext talk is imperative – and it happens frequently as a reminder you are always available to them.

Also read:

How to Help Your Teen With Social Media Addiction

How Cyberbullying Effects Teens Mental Health

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If your teen is struggling emotionally, seek help from professionals. If you have exhausted your local resources, learn more about the benefits of behavioral therapy in residential treatment for teens. They will be with other teens that have been through the same troubles they have experienced – it’s gives them that feeling of comfort, they’re not alone. Contact us to learn more.

The post My Teen is Sexting and Sending Inappropriate Images first appeared on Help Your Teens.

As we have witnessed with medicine abuse and other substance use, many parents live in denial that their teen would participate in this activity. Today sexting is considered the new flirting and some youth are not aware of the risks or consequences (potentially legal ones) they can fall into.

Across the globe we have seen sexting scandals in schools, from Duxbury, Massachusetts to Canon City, Colorado to Nova Scotia, Canada – it can happen anywhere. In North Carolina a high school quarterback faced felony charges and a sex offender status when he and his girlfriend were exchanging nude photos.

The consequences of sexting also extend offline. When something that was intended to be a private communication ends up in public, the shame and humiliation can drive our kids to the point of self-destruction. Another consequence of sexting: Experts have found children and teens that sext are more likely to engage in real-world sexual activity  than students who don’t sext.

For generations, many parents have cringed at the thought of having the “birds and the bees” conversation. Today we have to open the door for the “sext talk” without hesitation as children are digitally connected for an average of 9 hours a day. The parents of  Jessica Logan, Hope Witsell, Audrie Pott and Amanda Todd are sadly linked together by the aftermath of sexting and cyberbullying with the loss of their teens to bullycide.

It’s a parent’s responsibility to empower their children and teens with the knowledge to make good choices about how to use all forms of technology and social media. It’s their offline skills that will help them make better online decisions. Your teen may always be an app ahead of you, but they will always need your parenting wisdom echoing in their ear when you’re not there – while making their digital choices.

The sext chat outline for parents to open the dialogue:

1. Talk about it. Frequently and start early.  Stress the importance of safe sharing online. When your kids hear news of sext crime cases, initiate a conversation. Talk about how sexting leads to negative consequences even for adults. Revenge porn is rising every day. It can happen to anyone at any age.
2. Make it real. Kids don’t always realize that what they do online is “real-life.” Ask them to consider how they would feel if their teacher or grandparent saw a provocative comment or picture. Remind them there’s no rewind online and no true delete button in the digital world. Comments and photos are not retrievable.
3. Address peer pressure. Give your kids a way out – blame it on us. Tell them to let their friends know that their parents monitor (and/or spot check) their phones and social media, and you can’t risk losing your devices.
4. Discuss legal and online consequences. Depending on your state, there can be legal ramifications when you send sexual content or even participate in forwarding it. What goes online – stays online. This is your digital landscape.
5. If you receive a sexual message, never engage in it or forward it. Tell your parent or trusted adult immediately. If necessary, contact the authorities or your school.
6. Know that your parent is only a call away. Let your child know they can always come to you without judgment. These conversations are about building trust — our kids may always be an “app” ahead of us, but we will always be the adult in the family – lead by example and be there for them.

Contributor: Sue Scheff is the founder of Parents Universal Resource Experts, Inc and has published three books. Her latest is Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate (Sourcebooks, October 2017).

Read: 5 Benefits of Boarding Schools for Troubled Teens.

Read: How Cyberbullying Effects Your Teen’s Mental Health.

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If you are struggling with your teenager’s internet addiction and have exhausted your local resources, learn more about how residential treatment can help your teen develop a healthy relationship with technology. Contact us today for a free consultation.

The post Is Your Teen Sexting or Posting Inappropriately? first appeared on Help Your Teens.

Sending sexual images and content has consequences not only to your teenager but in some situations, to parents also.

Sexting laws are relatively new. State laws regarding sexting differ significantly and in states without designated sexting laws, the crime may still be punished under pre-existing laws that target child pornography. While the legal consequences of sexting are still a little hazy, it’s a good idea to talk keep your kids in the loop. This infographic provides tips for parents to prepare their children for an increasingly digital world.

Published with permission by:
Permanent Picture: Teen Sexting (And What Parents Should Do About It) (via Intella Blog)

The post What Parents Should Know About Teen Sexting first appeared on Help Your Teens.

Whether it’s summer break or back to school, studies have shown teens spend a lot of time online. PEW Research revealed that 92% of teens are online daily while 24% are online constantly!  From social media to texting, their keyboard is never far from their fingertips.

The fact is, does your teenager (or pre-teen) know and/or understand the consequences and risks that are connected with sending or receiving a text message that is considered sexual?

This is a serious concern for parents today that can have legal ramifications not only for the child, but can extend to the parents.

Let’s start with the parents.  According to Lawyer.com a parent may face the following consequences if their teen is caught engaging in “sexting activities”:

• If a parent knows that his/her minor is engaging in “sexting” activities and does nothing to prevent it, that parent is at risk of being charged criminally with contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
• Furthermore, a parent who ignores and/or takes ineffective action against a child engaged in “sexting,” faces the potential of an investigation by the Child Protective Services and the resultant risk of losing and/or restricting some of the parents’ rights vis a vis the minor.
• A parent who negligently supervises his/her minor child that is engaged in “sexting” also faces the potential of a civil lawsuit for negligent supervision and negligent infliction of emotional distress filed by the parents of the minor child who received the photos.
• In addition, the parents of a “sexting” minor might have to pay monetary damages to the recipient teen if it is found that the parents were negligent in supervising their child and/or failed to adequately discipline their child after discovery that their child was engaged in “sexting.”

What about your teenager, what consequences do they potentially face?

Lawyer.com continues:

• Teens participating in “sexting” activities – those that send and receive the sexually explicit photos – are at risk of potential criminal charges for child pornography OR criminal use of a communication device, and in some states, face the exposure of having to register as a sex offender – a stigma that could haunt them the rest of their lives
• Not only do teens who participate in “sexting” face the risk of criminal prosecution and the prospects of incarceration and/or probation, which will potentially remain on their criminal record for the indefinite future, they also face the prospect of the possibility of being required by the Court to register as sex offenders.
• This label has horrific consequences for teens including mandated reporting of the sex offender in various public records and very burdensome notification requirements that the sex offender must comply with – which may remain with the sex offender for the rest of his/her life.

If you believe your teen is engaging in risky behavior online, talk to them.  Discuss the consequences.  Many offline discussions can help your child make better online choices.

Read: Does Your Teen Want to Drop Out of School.

Read 5 Benefits of Boarding Schools for Troubled Teens.

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If you have exhausted your local resources with your teenager and you’re still struggling, contact us today to learn more about how residential treatment may benefit your troubled teen develop a health relationship with technology.

The post Teen Sexting: Knowing and Understanding the Consequences first appeared on Help Your Teens.