A rebellious teen can be extremely challenging and frustrating to not only parents, but to the entire family.

Are you facing:

-Teen backtalk, disrespect, rudeness?
-Teen anger, defiance, rage and possibly destruction of property
-Is your teen blatantly defying your house rules and curfews?
-Is your teen ignoring you when you talk to them?
-Is your teen doing drugs, vaping — in your home?
-Has your teen drifted from their friends, become withdrawn?
-Is your teen refusing to go to school? Skipping classes?
If you’re experiencing any of these behaviors or other teen rebellious angst that is more than the typical teenage moodiness, it’s likely you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells with every word you speak.

The teenage years can be challenging as your teen’s brain goes through significant changes and their hormones can heighten their emotions.

How to handle a rebellious teen.

1. Remain calm.  It’s not easy, but necessary. Your teenager is still a child — although they do believe they are an adult. Stay cool and collected even as they become outraged — or you don’t understand their reason for rebelling. Calmly use a polite tone to ask them what’s on their mind — display a non-aggressive body language, expression, and genuine concern in your voice. Be empathic to their needs.

2. Be respectful. Think back to when you were a teenager, you’ve been through these years too. Put yourself in their shoes, use the right words, phrases and sentences. Try not to be authoritarian, such as, “I am your mom, and I know best so listen.” Rather use sentences like, “I’m your mom and I know a thing about this… let’s have a chat.”

3. Explain your intentions: Help your teen understand your rules and the reasons behind them. Teens don’t know them unless you tell them. If you told your teen they were not allowed to attend a late-night party, then tell them why.  It’s for their safety, you fear such parties could be places for illicit activities like underage drinking and smoking, and narcotics use.

Take the conversation forward and explain how these habits can have an impact on the lives of teens and even their families. Use examples if needed. The teenager may better understand the logic behind rules and instructions if you respectfully explain acquaint them to the negative consequences of doing things that are wrong. Most important, take time to listen to their perspective on the situation.

Many parents are often concerned about teen rebellion because they fail to understand its reason and cannot handle it. Most parents believe their teenager will rebel over illogical matters — however that is not true. Teen rebellion often indicates your teen’s desire to be independent — it can cause them to make impulsive choices such as belonging to a less than desirable peer group.

In some situations, the rebellion also shows that teenagers have the courage to express themselves and display self-confidence.

To manage rebellious teenagers, you should stay calm, treat your child with respect, and try to understand their perspective before making a decision.

Read: 3 Reasons for Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Read: 5 Benefits for Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Read: Success of Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

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If you’re dealing with a rebellious teen that is out-of-control and you have exhausted your local resources for help, contact us for a free consultation to learn the benefits of therapeutic boarding schools for your family.

The post How to Handle a Rebellious Teen first appeared on Help Your Teens.

Teenage rebellion is an act of highest assertion of independence and little adherence to parental advice during the teen years of a child’s life. It is called a “rebellion” because it leads to an intense confrontation between the teen and their parents. Teenage rebellion may seem spontaneous and illogical for parents, but there are several underlying reasons behind the behavior.

Why do teens become rebellious:

There are multiple reasons behind the rebellion during the teenage years:

1. The desire to be independent: Teens are somewhere between being an adult and a kid. The in-between phase causes a surge in motivation to change the status quo. The urge to be independent leads to increased defiance to rules, and not listening to parents.
2. Heightened differences with parents: The rules that they have been following since their childhood, seem to be suffocating now. They question the rationale behind such rules and feel that the rules are curtailing their freedom. A teen might like things that are “cool” for their generation, but might be disapproved of by the parent.
3. Impulsive decisions: Experts state that teens are prone to making impulsive choices. A teenager’s judgment can be overridden by the desire to seek thrill and encounter exciting experiences. It can cloud the discretionary thought process, which may eventually make them violate rules, and ignore risks in favor of rewards.
4. Peer pressure: The teenage brain lays greater emphasis on the opinion of their peer groups so that they can feel a sense of belonging in those groups. A teen might want to do things to please the peers even if parents are against it.
5. A change in the brain structure: Researchers note that the connections between the neurons of the brain do not develop completely until the mid 20s. The effect is compounded by the impact of puberty on the brain. An immature neural structure with the constant change in the brain design impacts their decision-making, leading to a rebellious behavior.
6. A change in the brain structure: Researchers note that the connections between the neurons of the brain do not develop completely until the mid 20s. The effect is compounded by the impact of puberty on the brain. An immature neural structure with the constant change in the brain design impacts their decision-making, leading to a rebellious behavior.

How to handle a rebellious teenager:

1. Stay calm:

• Teenagers are still children. Do not get flabbergasted if you do not see reasons for their rebellion.

• Be calm and use a polite tone to ask what’s on their mind.
• Display a non-aggressive body language, expression, and show a genuine concern in your voice.

2. Set appropriate limit:

• Punishments do not work the same way as they once did when your teen was a young kid. A teen can get aggressive and may even try doing wrong things deliberately to display defiance.
• Do not slap a teen, lock them in a room or stop them from eating their favorite food as a punishment.

3. Have a respectful conversation as a friend:

• You have been through teenage years too! Think how teens would think and put yourself in their shoes for a while. It will help you use the right words, phrases, and sentences.
• Cut down authoritarian phrases (“I am your dad, and I know better so listen.”), instead use relaxed sentences (“Hey buddy, I am your dad and know a thing or two more. Let’s have a chat”).
• A combination of nonchalant language and calm tone can help soften the rebellious teen.

4. Explain your intentions:

• Your teen will not understand your rules unless you tell them the reason behind them. For instance, if you forbid your teen from attending late night parties, then tell them that you do so because you fear such parties could be places for illicit activities like underage drinking and smoking, and narcotics use.

• Take the conversation forward and explain how these habits can have an impact on the lives of  teens and even their families. Use examples if needed.

• The teenager may better understand the logic behind rules and instructions if you respectfully explain acquaint them to the negative consequences of doing things that are wrong.

• Most important, take time to listen to their perspective on the situation.

5. Come with a win-win solution: 

• Discussing limits with your teen does not mean that you have to bend to their demands.

• Come up with a solution to the problem. Think of a plan that works for both of you. Say words like “Okay, I will allow you to go for an outing, but on one condition.” It will help the teen feel that you are accommodative and are not just ordering them to do things. In a similar way to parenting a toddler, teens feel more in control when choices are offered.

Having a systematic, step-by-step approach to the teen’s rebellion, where you take time to calm the situation and make space for listening, is the best way to cool down the situation. But sometimes both you and your teen have gotten so angry and upset that the conversation spirals out of control.

Read: Where to Send My Troubled Teenager.

Read: 5 Benefits of Boarding Schools for Troubled Teens.

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Contact us today for a free consultation for safe therapeutic boarding schools for rebellious teens.

Sources: Momjunction.com

The post Can Teen Help Programs Help Rebellious Teens first appeared on Help Your Teens.

As the teenage brain rewires, hormones surge, and independence beckons, a perfect storm for family conflict emerges. Parenting just got tougher. But help is at hand.

This uniquely practical parenting book for raising teenagers in today’s world explores the science at work during this period of development, translates teenage behavior, and shows you how you can best respond as a parent – in the moment and the long term.

Taking over 100 everyday scenarios, the book tackles real-world situations head-on – from what to do when your teenager slams their bedroom door in your face to how to handle worries about online safety, peer group pressure, school work, and sex.

Discover how to create a supportive environment and communicate with confidence – to help your teenager manage whatever life brings.

Here’s an example of what you might be going through with your teen:

1. I’ll clean my room later

Your teen’s room looks as if it’s been hit by a bomb.

What your teen is thinking…

When he was younger, your teenager’s room was a place to sleep and keep his things. Now he’s an adolescent, he sees it as an expression of who he is, as well as a sanctuary to escape to. Having his things around him makes him safe. Tidying up may also involve a level of planning and self-discipline he hasn’t yet developed.

What you’re thinking… You may feel he’s not respecting your home or the things you’ve bought him, and he’s not developing the organizational skills he needs to look after himself.

How to respond... View your teen’s untidiness as part of his transition to adulthood. The outward mess represents some of the reorganization going on inside his brain. Furthermore, when faced with a big job, your teen may not know where to begin.

Limit instructions to one or two at time, like putting rubbish in a bin bag, followed by putting dirty laundry in the basket. Suggest he blitzes his room for five minutes because once he’s started, he’s likely to keep going.

Talk about how it’s in his own interests, as he’ll be able to find things more easily and clothes look better if they’re hung up, so he’ll want to do it for his own reasons. Keep faith that he’ll eventually work out that a neater room is a more pleasant place to be.

Learn more, order What My Teenager is Thinking? by Tanith Carey and Dr. Carl Pickhardt on Amazon today.

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If you are struggling with your teenager’s behavior and you have exhausted your local resources, learn more about how residential treatment can help your troubled teen through emotional growth. Contact us today for a free consultation.

The post What’s My Teenager Thinking first appeared on Help Your Teens.