As your child matures into a teenager, testing the limits of their independence is part of growing up — it can also be a stressful time as they become more argumentative with you and test their boundaries. Maybe breaking their curfew, talking back, or even sneaking out.

Discipline Challenges for Parents of Teens

It’s very common as your teen develops into their own person, they want more freedom than they can handle. This can mean breaking your rules such as unlimited access to their devices or staying out late.

Teens are quick to complain that you are controlling their life, you don’t understand them and may even lie to get out of trouble. Sometimes this can turn into rage and/or explosive behavior when they feel like they are not getting what they want.

You may experience your teen talking back, nasty attitude (short temper), eye rolling and other disrespectful behavior that is not acceptable.

Strategies to Punish Your Teen that Will Work

When it comes to disciplining teenagers, it’s important to be firm and consistent, but also fair and reasonable.

Your teenager is old enough to understand when the consequence fits the crime, and they’ll be more cooperative they know you are not just trying to exert your power over them. Punishments for teenagers should be related to the infraction and aim to teach them, rather than humiliate them or break them down.

Communication is Key

Start a conversation in an open and honest manner focused on solving the problem, and let your teen be part of the decision-making process.

If your teen has been displaying several problematic or risky behaviors, tackle just one issue at a time.

Be sure to listen closely to his or her feelings and concerns, don’t be a parent who sets the rules without considering your teen’s opinions and thoughts. They will be more open to buy in if they are part of this dialogue.

Set Clear Expectations

Your teen should know well in advance what your expectations are of them, such as their curfew and what the consequences are if they break these rules.

Discuss appropriate boundaries with your teens, and help them understand the reasons behind them. Make the rules as specific as possible — don’t be vague.

Be Consistence

It’s imperative you are consistence with your rules and boundaries. Teens don’t take them seriously when they know parents will go soft and won’t always enforce them.

When you’ve set a rule and a consequence for breaking it, make sure you follow through.

Teenagers might try to take advantage of the situation if one parent is firm while the other parent isn’t. Try to ensure that you and your parenting partner are on the same page.

Natural Consequences

Natural consequences can be the best teachers in certain situations. But it’s important to make sure the natural consequences will really teach your teen a life lesson.

Natural consequences don’t require your involvement. As long as the consequences don’t lead to safety hazards, it’s best to avoid stepping in.

Some examples of natural consequences are: If they don’t study for a test, they may fail. I they forget their sports jersey, they may not be able to play their sport.

Choose Your Battles

Don’t bend on safety issues but consider letting other things (your teen’s new bold fashion sense, for example) slide.

Maybe you don’t like their new friend. Take time to get to them them, so your teen sees you making the effort. If you still don’t care for them, you can give your teen some reasons why you don’t believe this is a good decision.

Remove Privileges

If your teen violates the rules, they may be showing you they can’t handle the freedom you’re giving them. Tighten the rules by giving them an earlier curfew or by reducing the amount of time they spend using their electronics.

Smartphones, laptops and any screen time is typically vital to most teenagers. Restricting your teen’s phone privileges can be an effective consequence, but make sure it’s time limited. Usually, 24 hours is long enough to send a clear message to your teenager. If you go longer, they may try to find a burner phone or use others.

If your teen’s misbehavior involves friends, first discuss their actions and then make adjustments to their social privileges.

Listening

Having effective communication skills with your child is imperative, however as your child reaches their teenage years, it’s more about listening.

With teens, you want to take the time to listen, ask questions, and support your teen’s journey toward figuring out their own solutions to their problems. Talking out their issues with you can help them understand what they are feeling and help them cope with whatever is going on.

In conclusion

Discipline can get tricky as your teen gets closer to adulthood. However, remember the same core discipline principles of consistency, consequences, acceptance, open communication, and love still work to manage and guide your teen’s behavior. You are still their parent and no matter how mature they are getting, they still need you as a role model, support system, sounding board, and cheerleader.

Also read:

How to Research Therapeutic Schools

Why Group Therapy Benefits Teens

The post How to Punish Your Teenager: Discipline Challenges first appeared on Help Your Teens.

It’s not easy raising teenagers today, and disciplining them has never been more difficult as it has become now. They will push parents to their limits and drive them to their wit’s end.  As parents, you have to guide them and help them be the best versions of themselves without losing your patience.

With the rise of technology and smartphone addiction, the first line of defense parents try to use as discipline is removing their teen’s devices — without realizing that not only isn’t this a resolution, it rarely works. Teenagers are resourceful — they usually can find a way to get back online, find a burner phone (through a friend) – or simply use the WiFi in another way.

Let’s consider 5 reasonable ways to disciple teenagers:

1. Old-fashioned, you’re grounded.  Grounding children is an age-old disciplining technique. You could use it as a last resort. Do not ground them for petty reasons, but if they continue to break curfew despite repeated reminders or if they skip school and continue to overuse their online privileges, they deserve to be grounded.
2. Remove privileges. If your teenager takes your love and care for granted, it is time to teach them the value of the luxuries they enjoy. However, before you take away their privileges, make sure you communicate to them why you are doing it. Else it might lead to false assumptions and strong protests from your teenager. Also, do not push it too far; limit it to a fixed period. Keep in mind, the phone is also your connection to them, but you can limit their online time – but re-visiting their smartphone contract.
3. Give them more responsibility. Want your teenager to understand the value of something? Give them more responsibilities. For example, if your teenager snorts and makes faces when you prepare a decent meal after working two shifts, make them cook dinner for the whole family, or ask them to do grocery shopping for an entire week. This will help them understand your struggle and sacrifices.
4. Facing the consequences. Experience can be the best teacher. Sometimes, it is best to let your teenager face the consequences of their actions. However, make sure your child learns a valuable life lesson out of the experience. Also, talk to your teenager and understand their side of the story to ensure they do not land in trouble.
5. We are still the parents “first”. It is ok for your teenager to make decisions and handle their life occasionally. But, too much of anything can be harmful. If your teenager disobeys your rules and mocks you (disrespects) for telling them what is right and wrong, it is time to be assertive with them. Let them know that it is your house, and things would go according to your rules.

In conclusion, you are the parent, it is your home and it’s your rules. Most studies share that (believe it or not) teenagers want boundaries and do much better when rules are put in place and enforced. So even if they go against you and give you heartache, never remove your wall of love that are put in place to keep them safe. 

Read: How Much Is Too Much Screen Time?

Read: How Cyberbullying Effects Teenage Mental Health.

Read: 5 Benefits of Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

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If you’re struggling with a teen that is constantly breaking rules, out-of-control and you feel you are at your wit’s end — after you have exhausted your local resources, contact us for how residential treatment may be able to assist you with teen help.

The post 5 Ways to Discipline a Troubled Teenager first appeared on Help Your Teens.